The Tall and Short of it

First there was denial.
Then there was panic.
Then there was plain hopelessness and resignation.
And so it was, as I stared frustrated, at the height chart.
A quarter of an inch.
That's all I've seemed to have elongated in 2 months.
So instead of looking at my glass half empty in my usual cynical downtrodden way, I decided to compile the sunny side of being *ahem* vertically challenged.

Be Happy, Be short! (Or just be foolishly pleased with the lack of photo tropic growth)

By being not tall, you can indulge in a myriad of pleasures that the taller race is deprived of. Par example:

1.Entrances and Exits:
Face it, there is no door too small for you. You can ease past any doorway while others have to bend and crouch, and duck uncomfortably.

2.Discounts and Half-Fares:
Be it museums, art galleries, aquariums, theme parks, the movies, you're all set. You can pass up for a child under 12 by putting on the squeakiest voice possible and pretend to tip-toe reach to the counter(with much neck straining) before slapping down money for a ticket- half-price. Your wallet is happy. You get your amusement. No one's the wiser. And as for the icing, you get a free blueberry lollipop that turns your tongue a deep aqua for a week. How cool is that?

3.Shoe it to me!:
Shoes? Full steam ahead. Pumps? Sneakers? Loafers? High tops? High heels? Uggs? They're 'all go' for you. There's NO way you would look awkwardly tall, a foot above the crowd, walking moderately tall in your stiletto heels.

4.No Bed bye-byes!:
After a while, it is inevitable that really tall people cannot curl and squeeze into the confines of their bed. What's worse than an early winter morning with your feet sticking out from the end of your exasperatingly short blanket that doesn't seem to cover all of you at the same time, letting the biting cold, buffeting air and chills in your toasty cocoon? Short people just don't have to worry about their legs sticking out of their bed or tiny blankets. A bed for a lifetime is all we need.

5.Wardrobe Malfunction:
Tall people tend to shoot up without warning and it is quite irksome to find that the jeans that fit you so well last week, suddenly barely reach your ankles. And what about that amazing blue shimmering tee-shirt you bought just a fortnight ago? They look like the relics of your fifth grade pajamas. Your feet seem to have expanded as well. Size 10? The shopkeeper first blinks stupidly and asks you if he heard right and then goes and rummages through the stock. He then comes and declares he hasn't ever seen that size in the store and recommends you to go online and customise your own Converse All-Star sneakers. Whoo-pie. Short people just don't wake up to snug shirts and ill-fitting leggings. They always tend to hunt down their sizes in stores and have an easier task getting just the right clothes. Besides since we don't grow out of clothes, we end up with a smorgasbord of outfits to pick, mix, match and choose from.

6.Sign reads: 'Warning! Beware of this Sign!':
Tall people face daily perils as their menial chores and monotonous lives are fraught with perils. Just tell me the number of short people that have bumped their heads against the Exit signs hanging from ceilings or against branches of tall trees? Advantage. And can you imagine the number of tall people that get there hair caught in a ceiling fan? Ghastly.

7.The Cruisers and The Losers:
Low, snug, beautifully crafted with superior dynamics, sleek with a shiny metallic body, chrome spinners, turbo power- the works. A sports car. Might I add- with little overhead space? Average drivers are masters behind the wheel while the tall ones are doubled, crammed in for lack of space like Hagrid on a baby tricycle. Their shorter road compatriots are revved up to quench their thirst for speed. Open 'er up... Yea Baby Yea!

8.Hopping Mad:
What fun is hitting your head on the ceiling repeatedly? Pogo sticks are great fun when you're short with the space to bounce up and down for hours on end. And as for jump ropes and tall people, they were frankly never meant to exist on the same planet.

9.Shorty and Sporty:
Not all sports are dominated by super tall people. That gives us short people some scope for achievement. You look at this post quizzically challenging the authenticity of that statement? I'll prove to you tallness is just an added advantage when it comes to sports. There are a vast number of sports for the short population. Like...? Well. Umm. FOOSBALL IS A SPORT, OKAY?

So there you have it. Short people seem to have a heckavu time despite being length-lacking. Goes to show how positive thinking can bring a farrago of possibilities.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to take my insane optimism and go and write the glorious advantages of bendy straws that don't bend and pencil erasers that just pop right off once you use them.